Cinnabon....

Makes me really want one, sadly. We haven't any here in Boise, which is I'm thinking, a good thing. Though seriously, one or two halves a year, is enough for anyone.

Migraine days...

I was going to take a picture of a bottle of pain medicine, an ice bag, gingersnaps and coffee to sum up my migraine days, but I happen to have this accidental shot of my living room and it seemed to say "yeah, that's about how you've been feeling" The light too glaring, the images fuzzy, the overall feeling nauseating.

I've been hording up food experiences and pictures but now I've gotten so far away from their occurring that I have little to say about them.

I have gone from women's "issues" to migraine days without much in between. I have had maybe 3 whole good days in the last two or so weeks. They have been glorious giddy good days, the kind where the absence of pain feels so euphoric. I have not forgotten to eat well or real, but I have not done wonderfully either, I've just existed with my new consciousness intact. No pans of brownies have been scarfed down, though last night I will admit to eating a good 500 calories of "Dirty Chips" (a brand, not my judgement of them) in a middle of the night gotta have it, binge. The first thing remotely resembling a binge of any type since I've started this new way of looking at food and of choosing what is "good." That said, they were part of the former weeks "allotment of dirty chips" yet uneaten, so I won't feel too bad about it, and for extra good measure I'll skip buying any more for another week. Maybe I'll just buy two of the small bags instead of three as well. I don't want to buy just "one" cause that will feel punitive and make me think I'm suffering and then I'll do myself more harm than good with ensuing obsession about lack of chips.

I do best when I have plenty of what pleases me around and instead just show moderation. I have a person in my life, I'll call her my "friend" who is slim and has an opposite view. She has to keep the things far away or she'll eat them all, say, for example Entienmen's chocolate iced donuts (and to be critically fair, they don't keep well and they do seem to taste better eaten in multiples of two or three) Maybe my "friend" has a point, given that she is slim, she must know what she's talking about. Or maybe it's just a particular food that would affect one so. I'm not going to scarf down three bags of reflux inducing mouth burning salt and vinegar chips in the middle of the night, so I'm reasonably safe. Let's face it, if one is in a scarfing down mood, one will likely find "something"....I had a friend who used to re-constitute cocoa powder with butter if she was in a pinch. Never tried it myself but I've kept it in the back of my mind, just in case.

All that said, I am in a strange place with relation to food right now. When I am in a lot of head pain, I don't eat anything, or at least I used to not eat anything. Of late I've been more nauseous with migraine and so I've followed a friends suggestion and laid in some ginger snaps to help with that. (I suppose I could get some kind of ginger capsules to do the same thing but these are "health food" section, rock hard, reasonably low fat and calorie ginger snaps so I think, ok, they will do) I have wondered if I might make my own low fat/cal gingersnaps as part of my real food effort(Honestly I wonder if they are EVER high fat cal , I think the dry hard beast is itself, lean. You can tell I don't think of ginger snaps as a serious snack contender.) I doubt I could pull of baking with a migraine, not without serious collateral damage to Lord knows what, the kitchen, myself (I envision burns on arms, flour fluffed into my eyes, turning beaters on with my hands in the bowl?) so for now, the pre-made things seem a reasonable stand in.

Ok, where was I....food, migraine...yes...so I don't eat when I'm in the worst of it. I don't move when I'm in the worst of it, and talking is nearly out of the question as well though I manage to moan fairly well. Something about the sound of certain notes hitting some spot inside my head as it vibrates....When my migraine is abating, as it is now having gone from a 9 to a 5, food can be glorious. It can't take much by way of effort and there is no telling what I might desire, though it is not a bad guess to say it will be starchy.

I careened toward the kitchen a while ago intent on cooking an evil box of mac and cheese deluxe (something I've not had or desired whilst on my real food path, if I wanted mac and cheese I'd be making it from scratch) and while it was boiling, my eye lighted upon a bagel I'd bought intending to make chips for soup (an entry I haven't made that I photog-ed last week) and remembering I had fresh cream cheese in the fridge, scarfed it down while waiting.

I must tell you, it was seriously the best bagel and cream cheese I've ever had in my life. If I bought a dozen of them and ate them every day for a week, I'd surely not have another that came close, it would at least pail by comparison, likely to the point of grave disappointment. It was a flavor I don't normally buy (Fred's had none of the bins labeled,oddly enough) I am not sure what flavor it was, I could detect poppy seed but when I bought it I was thinking it could be a so called "everything" bagel. It was not a proper chewy one like you'd get in a real deli back east, in fact it was wrongly soft, but my teeth were glad for that fact as I noshed through it, thinking as I did that the Yiddish word Shmear would NOT apply to the amount of cream cheese I put upon it. It was a simple pleasure, the kind that remind me how good it is to be hungry, to have an appetite, how the laborer sleeps best and what grace there is in being able to joy in real food.

A visual feast.

I adore the website Tastespotting. You can put any food item you are looking for into the search engine, and then peruse the yummy pictures that come up. Click on said pictures and you'll be taken to the recipe. Yum Yum Yum!!!


A similar site I quite like is called Foodgawker.

Enjoy!

Headache...

Dear Gentle Readers,
I am writing to assure you that I have not gone "off the wagon" and am still in search of real food. However I am having a battle with a migraine, one that neither of us are winning, the kind where a level 4 headache just stays and stays not going, not coming. This does not endear me to writing or cooking, it endears me to my bedroom with the shades drawn.

We ate the "papertowel" soup, indeed Laura ate it. I don't think it was a hit, too spicy for me, but I shall try it again with a fractional amount of spice, or I shall try carrot in general because with an immersion blender it is easy enough to make, provided one can actually follow a recipe and doesn't add ingredients not called for. (towels to be exact)

I have eaten snack chips now, some number of days, over 13, I had Laura pick me up Dirty chips from the Co-op. 3 Bags of 5.5 oz to be exact. I am pleased to say that was last Friday and I have only eaten 1.5 of those bags over the last 7 days and in a controlled manner, ie, one measured bowl with a movie and so on. That said, I am truly becoming as happy to eat my celery with almond butter for a snack as the chips, and may even try Becca's childhood favorite, celery dipped in olive oil and vinegar. I like the crunch of celery.

I also had Laura pick me up three Dagoba bars. I have just now after 7 days finished one bar, (250 calorie bar) and I enjoyed it over about 4 different times of breaking off just a tiny bit and found it perfectly fine for taking away any sweet interest. I have not had any other "junk" except my homemade blondies, which take us a good while to eat the 9 bars it makes. If I have one, it is usually with coffee, eaten slowly and chewing lots. I'm thinking next time I make them I'll add more nuts, that's my favorite bit. I might also add some raisins. I've just learned dried fruit is higher in iron than some other things and anemia girl loves her iron.

I am finding it difficult this very moment when I cannot get to the store and when Glenn has been too busy to go for me, and when I have reached a brick wall of fatigue all the sudden (yes, I know I'm always fatigued, so you can imagine how much more this is!) and I need more to live on than almond butter on celery or rice cakes. I need protein as well as fresh foods. I have fallen back on something I hated my whole life but have learned to make peace with as an adult, EGGS. Oddly one egg I did like as a child is verboten now by health police, the soft boiled or poached egg.

The simple humble egg, does have going for it that it is fast to make, has protein in it, iron as well (yolk) and is somewhat able to be made with variety. This week breakfast has consisted of eggs with whole wheat toast one two occasions, farina on two occasions and cold cereal with milk on others. I've discovered that I get bored pretty quickly. I need to make Becca's granola recipe as well as one I want to make with pumpkin seeds and molasses (for iron) but again, no way to get the ingredients. I don't think Fred Meyers has delivery and even if they did, I'm guessing bulk bin purchases wouldn't be included.

It's 6 pm and I've only eaten farina and coffee, and 2 blondies cause I've not left my room. Glenn is bringing us home real burgers from kahootz, which are not light in calories but which I will enjoy given my painful state and lethargy. I'm hoping afterwards I can find it in me to do a little survey of what I have here I can eat and make quick and easy. Which reminds me, it's going to be hard for me when my friend Laura moves the 18th of September, as she was such a help to me in so many ways, but we are rejoicing with her in her new adventure amongst the Norwegians in Minnesota.

Please keep my efforts and better eating in prayer. So far I have been mercifully untempted even in my low moments, to just give in and eat junk, because junk just isn't appealing.

Well the food is here, I am hoping it revives me. Keep eating real my friends!

No. 1 Carrot Soup attempt.

Well, it started out looking ok. Here I am playing Jenga with carrots. Who needs real toys?

The recipe calls for baby carrots from the store. I recently found out that baby carrots are just adult carrots cut by a machine into uniform shapes and I am not going to pay extra to have them lie to me (-: I cut my own carrots thank you very much, and I didn't ask them how old they were. They are organic at least.

The recipe also calls for two to three cans of chicken broth (easily subbed with veggie broth for the vegetarians amongst us) Well silly me, who is still unwell and has no business operating sharp, hot, heavy or electronic machinery much less my brain, grabbed two Swanson cans off the shelf, noting to self I need to stock up on the pacific organic at Costco, and proceeded to pour right on in. To my horror one of them wasn't chicken but beef. Call me OCD but I don't like to mix my food/meat families. The Chinese make Happy family and the Cajuns make Jambalaya but seriously, I think it's something that might have been addressed in Leviticus, I've just not found it yet!!!

Oh and it DOES get worse my friends... at some point during the process of boiling said carrots in aforementioned perverse liquid, I went to lift the lid to check for doneness again and somehow, low and behold there was a paper towel boiling happily in the surface. Alls (sic) I can figure is that the hot steamy lid I set to the left of the stove somehow was set on a paper towel which clung surreptitiously to the inside of the lid and then fell in the pot. There was nothing in the recipe about adding a paper towel! And I don't think my mind is that lost yet. Now what to do. What was on said paper towel before it's immersion? It was likely the paper towel that Glenn uses over by the coffee grinder to wipe up grinds, but that he fails to throw away cause it still has some good wipes in it. (and it might make a tasty fiber addition to dinner?) Do I toss the whole effort, now done and ready to puree? I get on the phone to ask hubby what exactly the history of said towel is, he's in a pastoral meeting but I just can't go on without some type of towel provenance. He affirms that yes that's his coffee grinds towel, like that makes everything all better. I've had friends who have confessed to washing steaks that fell on the floor, so how bad could this be? It was boiled? Grant it the towel wasn't very attractive as it came out the saffrony color of curry, but I shall try to wipe this image from my mind if I decide to eat it. (The soup, not the towel.)

On a side note, I have spices in my Indian spice tin that I have failed to label. I am not sure if I have 1/4 tsp of cayenne or of chili powder in this soup. It also has 1.5 tablespoons of curry in it. See the big bottle of milk there? Well that is out because after tasting said powders with my finger on my tongue, I couldn't tell you what was what (I thought maybe I'd some how instinctually know which was which) what I can say it my tongue is still recovering.

Well, the soup is finished and I will tell you that if you are going to make a soup, regardless of the notoriety of the chef online, don't do as I do and just follow it without reading the comments. 9 out of 10 posters liked or loves this soup, but most all of them said too SPICY!!!! duh, there was part of me that did question 1.5 tablespoons of curry powder. So I have now added a scoop of brown sugar and I think as per the comments now read, I will add about a cup of half and half or cream to "cool it down" a bit. My missionary friend Laura (who I don't know in real life but like lots online!) told me she got a carrot soup in South Africa that was served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream in the center. I think that sounds just like what this soup needs!

So for now, as I hold a tissue to my dripping nose (from the SPICE) I can recommend this soup for it's ease IF you have an immersion blender, and with some changes. Do not spice it as it calls for, start with half and work up, you can always add more spice to taste after pureeing. I also recommend you check your can labels before you add anything, and check under your pot lid each time you pick it up, you never know what might be hiding there.

Small Changes...

I don't know if I've said this already, but one reason I think I decided to eat better is because due to my health issues right now and the ensuing inability to "do" much of anything for myself or others, choosing better foods is one thing I can (or thought I could) aim at.

I'm thinking aloud here...what changes can I make/have I made?

1. Enjoy what is left of the summer's gorgeous harvest. Here in Idaho that is Corn, Beans, Organic Strawberries, peaches etc.

2. When possible, buy organic butter, Milk and dairy without hormones and anti-biotics, and eggs from happy chickens.

3. I've long since sworn off anything that says partially hydrogenated anything. I've also long since avoided bleached white flour, unbleached only. I don't know who out there is still buying bleached.

4. Now swearing off as many things as possible that have high fructose corn syrup in them.

5. Though it is no healthier per say, I'm trying to prefer the taste of natural sugars, honey, molasses, maple syrup, and raw sugar, though I still use white in baking, and to use a little less of them.

6. It's a little thing but I don't prefer to use bleached filters for coffee.

7. Another small thing, is learning to prefer high percent cacao dark chocolate. I'm trying to stay about 70%. My thinking on this is, in part that I'm finding dark high cacao chocolate (esp if mixed with some type of dried fruits) does a fine job to take away sweet cravings and does it in smaller doses. It could be just me. Also high percentage dark is known for some added health benefits, such as being possibly a good cough suppressant, having some anti-oxidants etc. As well as organic I'm glad some of the brands I like claim to be from places that are not involved in human abuses in getting said chocolate. The leading manufacturing countries for chocolate are places of great human suffering. Now that said, I'm willing to consider some good eating "meat offered to idols" i.e it is not always possible to know the source nor the conditions one's food is grown in unless one grows it oneself (an excellent plan where doable) and I think it would be too easy to forgo good eats in search of "perfect" eats. As it is said, the perfect is often the enemy of the good.

8. I want to explore ethnic cooking that depends on my variety in each dish, is veggies and meats and grains and is high taste via spices. I'm thinking boredom is also the enemy of good real eating.

9. Even my "evil" snacks, I want to be the best they can be, ie, meeting above criteria. If it means paying more for good snacks and eating less snacks, then that sounds like a good idea to me. I know everyone says it is expensive to eat well but it is also expensive to eat badly. Have you priced Potato chips lately? Or store bought cookies? I'm sure my blondies cost less than any store bought cookie.

10. A little more whole grain, a little more fiber. I've got IBS and as such have a hard time with a lot of fibers, but I can at least be doing more of the soluble fibers such as steel cut oatmeal. If you only eat rolled oats, or quick oats, you don't know what you are missing. Steel cut is fabu and good for you. I'm also going to try adding just a tiny bit of whole grain flours to my cooking, be they wheat or not. Wheat isn't the only game in town.

11. Avoid feedlot beef as much as possible. Buy Grain fed beef w/o hormones and anti-biotics.

12. Prefer Local and Seasonal eating. Choosing minimal packaging.

13. It's going to take a heap of experimenting to get where I'm going...Does this sound like a lot at once for you? If so, just pick one thing...do that this month. Maybe next month, you'll try another substitute, change, replacement.

Passionate about Life 'n Spice...: Aloo Lobia & A Quick Note on RCI

Ok, I may have to find a good online Indian Ingredient market and I might just have to buy a pressure cooker!


Passionate about Life 'n Spice...: Aloo Lobia & A Quick Note on RCI