Good days...Day 8

Ok, If'n I'm going to blog about food, I'm going to have to get my camera to load on this computer or I may have to pick up a new camera. Mine is a bit old, bought in the UK. I'll give searching for the driver/disk one big push and then I'm moving on. I hope I find the driver I need because I don't like moving on from something that works very well in itself. These pics of late, taken with camera phone are dreadful, color wise esp. Trust me these Organic Strawberries are the best in Idaho. Grown by Prolife Richardson (yes that is his legal name) at his organic farm.

I'm still embracing real and doing pretty well with it. I do confess to havging bought one small bag of dirty potatoes (chips) at the co-op. They are under lock and key for a "bad" day emergency. Till then, I don't think I desire them. I purchased some baked salt and vinegar chips to try, for the occasionally salty craving. I didn't expect much from them and they live up to that, but they might do ok in a pinch, if I feel like eating 23 pieces of what tastes like paper sprayed with chemicals (not really, they aren't chemical) to resemble salt and vinegar, for 130 cals and 3 g fat. The good news is they are awful enough that one wouldn't want to over eat them. Anyway, I've gone about 13 days now without any "real" snack chips. Yay.

I'm hoping to make some of my favorite simple sweet scones tomorrow to go with these strawberries, They are picked ripe and won't make it more than 24 hours.

So that's me, I got outside tonight with a friend for drivethrough coffee and a visit to the co-op. It was really a good break for me. I'm so please to say that I'm still not at all interested in junk, or overeating, and still am having a good appetite for real food and the patience to cook new things that are healthy, from scratch.

Happy weekend all.

Day 7

I love this gnome, I wish he were mine. I have a gnome weakness.

I'm still keeping on keeping on. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee last night, and as I was dragging I wondered how I'd enjoy it or have it be enjoyable for her, but then she had to cancel, so it worked out well. Since I was already dressed and showered, (as I told her when she cancelled, "but I even have a necklace on! and I shaved and everything)

In lieu of nice evening out with friend I went to the library to pick up some cookbooks, some vegetarian or veggie focused and other's on baking. Everyone on the food blogs seems to be doing or referring to this TWD thingy. (Tuesday with Dorie.) It's a bake-along as best I can tell, Apparently owners of her cookbook, bake the appointed recipe on Tuesday and then blog about it. They do such a fine job of raving about their end products that I had to take a gander at this book, so I got it from the library. It's called "Baking from my home to yours" By Dorie Greenspan. Not that my big interest in this real food quest is baking, but as I'm wanting to figure out some breakfast things, that could come in handy.

I can't remember where I left you...I've taken my iron and eaten well enough this past day. I also went to the grocery store after the library. With my low energy and stamina I have discovered one thing of late. Modern American grocery stores are taxing and overwhelming. I would much prefer to go to the small cozy, somewhat chaotic, Boise C0-Op (like a local answer to Whole foods, but in some way better, more personal) which is about 12 miles away in town. Not having either, I determined to limit myself to one end of the grocery store, the organic and healthfoody and produce end. I was pleased to find some peaches and other things that were organic on sale for less than the non-organic. I love it when that happens.

I have recently discovered I can get that similar "sane shopping" feeling by doing my basic purchases at what I call the "four stores." About four miles from here, we have an all year indoor veggie place, a place called "choice meats" which while it doesn't feature organic meat, it does have hormone and antibiotic free grain fed beef . There is also a great harvest bread company and a gluten free store. Though I am not on Gluten free, they carry milk in there (as well as chips I am avoiding of course, but nice to know) So in a nice little walk from store to store, I can manage to get most things I'd need for a healthy dinner. I guess I should acquaint myself with the Asian market a couple miles up the road from there, and then that might take care of any spice/sauce/oil emergencies as well. What I won't do not to go in a full size grocery store. Yes the little places are somewhat pricier, but they too have sales, and the way I see it, if I'm not in a "big" grocery store, I probably save money by not buying all the processed crud they carry. (Now I'm not sure I could get cheese on this run if I needed it. Note to self, see if Gluten free place carries any.) For Susie the night owl, the only less good point is they all close by 6pm.

Yesterday I was going to bed (in the am of course) and I was so hungry I couldn't sleep. I'd not yet made anything I could eat quick and easy and didn't want to have more of my tomato veggies right then or more bread, so I did something a bit less than cutting edge healthful, but oddly quickly satisfying. I whipped up some Idahoan brand instant mashed pots (mostly just dried dehydrated potatoes) opened a can of peas and had some more of my organic applesauce. I put all three next to each other in a pasta bowl and chowed down, pretending in the back of my mind that it was a "mock thanksgiving dinner." it hit the spot, wasn't loaded with fat or preservatives and I was able to sleep.

Last night before going to bed, I enjoyed a snack of one 1/4 of a celery stem spread with almond butter. Yum.

I'm going to pass on my absolute favorite Blondie Recipe, not healthy food, but not "unhealthy" in moderation either and it's quick and easy. Instead of using all butterscotch chips in the 3/4 cup it calls for, I use about half of the volume in butterscotch and then add some other chips, usually white and then a 70 percent cacao dark chocolate bar cut into pieces for a total of 3/4 chips as called for. I've thought of leaving off the butterscotch all together but that is I think what flavors the blondies. I also throw in two small handfuls of chopped walnuts. It's rich enough for one piece being more than filling and not leaving me wanting to eat the whole pan. I find that mine need to be in the oven for the exact time called for, no more or less. They will look still a bit soft but that is what makes them chewy. I'm looking forward to trying all sorts of adulterations on this, maybe doing it with different nuts, maybe some heath par pieces, maybe some dried fruit even.

I bought all sorts of things at the store last night, so we'll see what the next two days brings buy way of discovering the universe of real food.

It's not all bad news...

Well, the day ended on a better note. Glenn was out running a mission of mercy and called me on his way back home offering to pick up some type of carryout. I was only briefly tempted and then said no. Instead, I cooked the fresh green beans into a favorite dish of green beans with tomatoes, accompanied by two slices of fresh bread with butter. It was a much more satisfying dinner than anything he could have brought home. I'm glad I made the effort. (It's not pink looking like in the picture) It's a recipe I got off some Italians I used to know. It is a simple dish that lets the flavor of the veggies shine through, containing only Olive Oil, Garlic, Green Beans, Canned Tomatoes and salt. It should be even tastier tomorrow.

I think in light of the past day's set backs, I need to work at cooking a couple days ahead in the evening, so I am not caught short, with nothing simple when I feel the worst. I also want to figure out some kind of cold beverage other than water, which I drink lots of already. I'd like something without caffeine. If sugar is added I'd like it still to be healthier than soda. I'm thinking maybe some kind of iced green or white tea with a little sugar or honey? If anyone has something to suggest let me know.

Becca (my daughter) asked me why I felt I could give up chips, knowing how I enjoy them. I said, I didn't know, maybe I just got bored? Maybe I ate my life's maximum allowable total? I seriously feel like some bizarre switch has been thrown that took away my interest in them. Yes, I have prayed for some aid in this matter of eating well, and that could be it, but I expect I've prayed before and not come to this result.

I have long noted that my "taste" changed when I lived in Scotland. I went off sweets almost completely. No chocolate, no desserts. I thought at the time that it was because the "sweets" in the UK seemed so excessively sweet, over the top sugary, toffee-ish sweetness. A physical therapist friend suggested it could be my physical change because of exercise and weight lifting. Has anyone else noted that at various seasons of their life, particularly related to menopausal changes, that they have gone from prefering sweet to salty or starchy?


I've often thought it was the excerise and local oversweetness in the Uk combined but perhaps also a change in hormones? Given that chocolate affects neurotransmitters and brain chemistry, perhaps it was a change of " mind" literally. They say some people "self medicate" with chocolate because it boosts seritonin. Who knows, maybe in Scotland my seritonin was boosted by the walking and fresh air?


Now it's a few hours since Becca asked and I think I've figured out in part why I wanted to do something different with my eating and cooking, I think it's because I'm so unable to "fix" what ails me with the fatigue and long periods etc, that this is one small thing I CAN do, it's about the only thing I can do, that and pray and use my down (as in laying down/sitting down) time as best I can. Being like this causes one to see energy like tokens one gets to spend, and when they are gone, they are gone, and they don't get replenished quickly. Spending decisions have to be made. At least with eating well, and effort for cooking, it's not energy out only, but also, hopefully, energy and future health IN.


I don't know how long the decreased desire for salty treats will last, though I suspect that chip loving is something that "feeds" itself...ie the more you eat the more you want. So perhaps just not having them here for weak moments (like I had during the night and early am) will do the trick. I know that when I feel really cruddy, and when I wake up feeling that way, especially from a nap or a restless night, I want crunchy salty goodness. Oh, just saying that makes me go weak in the knees. I may need a healthy substitute. (Maybe some of those frozen coconut pops at the co-op?) though that doesn't sub for salty, but it might work if I wake with annoying allergies or itchiness or sinus. Idea's always welcome. Still trying to figure out the perfect breakfast treat for with coffee. Meanwhile I should make some of Becca's fabu granola. She uses Ina Garten's recipe. It's not quite the texture or experience I'm looking for, I'm wanting something like a breakfast cookie (-: but not as hard as a biscotti, or a small danishy thing. Haven't ruled out the rugelach, just haven't gotten out to buy ingredients. I like the fact Rugelach is highly versatile ie I can do apricot or nut or chocolate chip etc.

On another front...Is it just me or when you buy potatoes in the bags vs loose, do they seem to go bad much quicker than the one's you pick individually? The price is like half or better of the loose but if they are wasted or rot it's not a value for us. (In our case we don't eat them that fast anyway so the singles are probably best but I'd like to know if anyone else has noticed this)

I know the picture will put normal folk off wanting to make the green beans above, but I'll put the recipe here just in case.

Susan and Rebecca's Italian Green Beans

1lb or 2 of fresh green beans boiled or steamed
28 oz can of whole tomatoes, crushed or pureed in food processor
1/4 tsp salt.
olive oil
1 clove of garlic, sliced

As many fresh green beans as you want to eat. I'd say I bought about a pound but have bought as few as three or four handfuls. It's up to you.

Pour a little olive oil in the bottom of a pan, not enough to cover, just a hand size circle.
slice a garlic clove and saute it in the oil being careful not to burn or brown, it goes quickly. If it burns start over, it will flavor your oil badly.

Add to that one 28 oz can of whole tomatoes which you have run through a food processor or broken tiny by hand or cut with a pastry blender or what have you. You don't want big chunks.
Add in 1/4 tsp salt.

Saute these together on simmer for about 20-30 mins, until the liquid starts to condense out.

Meanwhile boil water or get your veggie steamer out, and cook the green beans until they are tender (I like mine pretty soft but not squishy, about the texture of pasta) After your sauce has cooked down some, and your green beans are cooked to your desire, drain green beans and toss them into the tomato sauce. Heat together to coat. Serve with nice crunchy bread for dipping.
More flavorful the second day. If you find the tomatoes bitter or green beans to be less than great tasting (cause they turned out to be not such great fresh beans) you can add just a tsp or so of sugar to balance the flavor, but don't overdo.

Is My Turkey Cooked?

Is my "turkey" cooked?
(Ok I know it's usually goose but for consistency purposes I'll take liberties)


No I've not consumed the evil potato chip, though I did fantasize about running to the co-op (our stand in for a whole foods, but better) and buying a bag of my favs. (Ironic that my "dealer" is the health food store)

I was barely hanging on yesterday, having a can of "reduced fat" corned beef hash (thanks Laura for the idea) for dinner. Not exactly "real" though surprising the label had only recognisable ingredients on it and a reasonably short list. Anyway, at that point, I'd not been up to getting out yet for shopping and we are low of anything natural in the house. (I did eat a peach mid afternoon. I didn't know peaches could be so tart!!!) so the whole planning and executing thing is in disarray. Poor Glenn, who can usually be talked into going to the grocery store has been extra busy and I think was hoping if we run out of food I'll find the energy to go. Not happening yet.

So I took a Lunesta at bedtime, WARNING:those things can give you the munchies something fierce. When I woke up middle of the night I was starving (or so I thought) and I managed to tear open the package of "emergency candy stand in" (that being some kind of chocolate covered peanut butter granola bar) and I polished off three. (they were really small, could barely see them with a magnifier, had I been trying) They weren't terribly satisfying and they may account for my having a migraine now at 9pm. Oh and I forgot to take my iron yesterday. The black hole deepens and the vortex therein would swirl if it had any energy.

Slept Lord knows how long starting last night at 9pm-ish...had headache late this afternoon, laid down because of that, woke up with full blown migraine and now, have had nothing but half a cup of coffee and those granola thingies...oh, and I remember now, I ate a few handfuls of tortilla chips. Drat.

All I can do is pray that God will give me the strength and lack of headache tomorrow to go get healthful foods laid in for times such as last night. Meanwhile I'm left with pretty much some uncooked green beans (too much work) and some applesauce (at least it's organic) I can polish off in my woe. I guess I could hit up the canned veggies as well...it's something, and it ain't potato chips or candy bars or pretend candy bars.

Pray for your pal, I want to keep pressing on, and the only cooked turkey I want is in the pan!

I'm a dingdong...

To put the below brick wall post in perspective (for myself) I note that I haven't been taking my iron supplements. It took a month of faithful taking to get me to Maryland and while there I didn't take it because it's so hard to take (tears up your stomach and causes all sorts of digestive nastiness) and then when I got back I had a flu of some type and and and...so step one, take IRON!!!

Wall...and it's not even 1 p.m

So I blog and have coffee and listen to a sermon and check email/facebook, and have a chat with Glenn, and look for recipe's for tonight or soon, and then viola, I've been awake 6 hours and I'm exhausted. This is my life of late, my life for so long now I can't remember when it was different. I think it must have been a prominent feature when I last marched into my doctor's office and insisted on blood work, when was that...February.


Everyone who is on facebook knows that the outcome of said visit was that I am pretty seriously anemic as well as vitamin D deficient. (From what I hear a huge no. of us are the latter) But should this equal crushing fatigue? I'm not depressed. I've been depressed before, and I know what that looks and feels like and I hate that when one is this in need of rest that others (including doctors) are likely to look at you and assume you must be depressed and that that is why you feel tired. I wouldn't mind being depressed but saying that or thinking that isn't going to get me solutions to why I really have zero energy or stamina, energy or stamina I used to have.

So...long story short, I have this morning, I make these plans and then I think about the next step, getting a shower and going to the store (the co-op 12 miles away) and getting said ingredients and then cooking a nice dinner for us. And it hits me that I don't even have it in me to take the shower much less go to the co-op. So I think, take a shower and then rest up, but no, that is too much. So I decide to rest up first. And I am not really thinking I'm sleepy, just exhausted, do you get the difference between those? Is there one? Am I nuts?

Now I know, that I have at least three things that could be causing exhaustion/fatigue. 1. Medication I take that is notorious for such. 2. Anemia 3. Chiari 1 Malformation I was diagnosed with in my early 20's but told doesn't cause any problems. I know that the supposidly simple answer is to get thee to a nunnery, um doctor. But my confidence in such is only so good, and one I have even "only so good" confidence in hasn't appeared in Boise yet. I'm thinking Internist or even Hematologist to figure out how to get the anemia truly fixed. We'll see...for now, that isn't getting dinner made.

So my bubble is a bit burst...all these good intentions, and thoughts about eating right and well, without the wherewithall (sp?) to manage them. Do I have a plan B? I have some green beans in he fridge waiting to be cooked, how much work does that take? I was going to cook them my italian way...but in a pinch I could probably talk Glenn into cooking them his way if I cut the ends off and get them ready. That however won't be dinner for the guys.

Right now, I'm living my life from nap to nap to small pocket of energy, I keep thinking get past this nap and then I'll have energy to do the next thing, but sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. If I get the energy to go to the store, I don't have it to bring in the shopping, if I have the energy to bring in the shopping I don't have it to do the cooking. I don't want to be a burden to Glenn, even though he wouldn't act like I was. Please pray I can at least continue to spy any area's where I do have strength and vigor to be a tiny domestic help, I am trying to do all I can, when I can, but it's not much. I have friends going through Chemo who can do more than I can...what if I'm just lazy? No, I know I'm not, well I am in some respects, but not like this...I don't have the energy to do even what I desire to do, to enjoy things, to enjoy people. Sometimes I want to read and I have to lay my book aside because I'm done in and need to rest. This isn't me, at least I don't think it is. Prayers appreciated, will blog on food later, if there is any.

Day 4, yes it's still Monday

Don't listen to the date/days on this. I started my efforts on Friday..it's a long story but trust me, it's day 4 today, Monday.

I feel like I could be carrying a sign that says "Will work for food." Well that's only right as the Bible says if a man will not work he shall not eat. So now, on this new adventure to find my way out of old patterns of eating into new one's, I feel like I wake up each day and start working on the meal planning. Now yes, I have been able to do that way ahead in my 26 plus years of domesticity, but I'm trying to cook new things now, things that will interest and not bore my palate. I've been wanting something like orange chicken and I don't mean that coated to death deep fried stuff they sell at Panda. There has got to be a way I figure, to make some healthed up version of that, without the heavy coating and yet with heaps of flavor, sauted in a pan. That's my mission this morning, find a good orange chicken recipe and get crackin. (and to the store to buy the ingredients. ) I'll let you know how it goes.

Day three...ehh pffffttttt....

Yes Susan is waning in enthusiasm though I think Sunday was still a decent effort. Nothing to write home or my two dear readers (Hello Ladies) about, but aren't you ever so glad I'm going to anyway???

It started out well enough. I was up at half three Sunday am, and having gone to bed hungry and early Saturday night, I ate a reheated burger (natural beef) that Glenn had grilled the day before. (yes grilling has carcinogens, I just don't care, I am a 200 lb plus woman, carinogens aren't making my knees tired ok? though maybe they are making me snarky.) I learned one thing, it takes a heap of effort to finish a dry boring burger first thing in the morning even if you went to bed hungry.


On the topic of weight, (and if you recall that isn't the specific focus of this effort and in fact isn't a focus at all, though any byproducts in the downward direction will be accepted without complaint) last time I was under 200lbs (196) I lived in Glasgow, walked 2- 10 miles a day (for three years) and lifted weights at the "Leisure center" (oxymoron that) 2-3 times a week. You can see why when one has to work that hard and long to be a weight no female one in north america would be advertising, (unless said female had just been on a reality tv series weighing 400 plus pounds and was proud of her new low) it just can't be a priority. I have no reason to walk 2-10 miles a day anymore and honestly, my knees probably aren't thanking me for the three years.

So where were we? Yes, yesterday...woke up early, in effort to bump said poptarts from their status of only breakfasty pastryish thing in the house, I perused foodgawker.com for something that spoke to me and I had ingredients for. Found blueberry crumb coffee cake and thought the way she cut them into flowers was mondo cute.

I was forced to make it with frozen blueberries, which may have contributed to my texture failure, or the fact that I cut my piece out while it was still hot, but the bottom part was crumbly and wanted to fall off and the top which I expect to be crumbly came out more like armor. Tasted ok though, and it wasn't a poptart. Was it better for me? Who knows, I think it was more pleasing and less soul killing than poptarts. (Uh oh, Oprah got sued over saying she wasn't going to eat beef, you think Kellogs is gonna come after me?) And one wonders, does the energy it takes to make said breakfast, help in any small way burn off the calories, say as opposed to lying in bed and having Glenn toast and bring said poptart with the coffee? I only had one piece and I was content. The others in the house had two each. (tattletale) Noah said "Lucy cooks good."

Onward and upward, I had planned to make Julia Child's Potage Parmentier (leek and potato soup) for lunch but I couldn't figure out how to time the whole business. If I made it before church it would still be so hot as to heat up the whole fridge and might not cool in a proper food handling safety way. If I waited to get home and make it, the fam (and I the fam-ished) would be left waiting for nearly 1.5 hours for lunch. In the spirit of, hungry family needs food, I just gave in and made this above pictured dried soup mix from Bear Creek. Now don't get me wrong, that soup is tastier than say canned soup, and probably more "real" apart from being dried, but it was pretty dumb to make something so close to what I intended to make because now I have leeks taking up most of my produce drawer and I feel potato souped out. (hope locals don't read this as I live in the famous potato state.) What to do now. I guess I can go on foodgawker or google and start googling "gigantic bunch of leeks seek home" and see what I find.



By the time I went to sleep at the end of the day, I was feeling peckish and really missed my potato chips "friends" and I didn't have anything left in me for food prep, heating or what have you. I had laid in a couple of boxes of granola ish bars in hopes that if desperation came they'd be an "ok" alternative. I ate one of the nature valley dark chocolate and peanut and raisin one's. It was hard enough to threaten my teeth with damage, and not very satisfying but also, not evil enough to give me heartburn or to have me feeling "off the wagon." (had I eaten half a bag of "Dirty Chips" salt and vinegar flavour (my new fav, at the co-op) I'd be crying in my unmade potage.



It was a day. Not great, not horrible, but with some hope, more now that it's morning, of a continued journey Monday.




And ladies, thank you for your comments, I was starting to second guess doing this as it felt so pathetic,open and dumb. Who in their right mind would want to read the ravings of a woman on potato chip withdrawal?

Oh and Laura, I love love love a "good can" (if that isn't another oxymoron) of cat food, I mean, Corned Beef hash, which someone else in my life used to refer to as "corned beef trash" I only like Libby's brand though which is hard to find. It's one of those things that I could eat maybe, 5 times a year, when the mood strikes, it's "just the thing" I'll have to come up with a ratings system for real-ness...not sure where that one would fall. Yes Diane, poptarts, I guess I was thinking cinnamony goodness? (-: warm, hot, toasty? available?

Day 2 COLD Turkey

I can't say as it's been "that bad" really, because I've slept most of the time and when I woke up hungry, there was real food in the house (thanks to that mini-shop at the farm stand.)

Does that mean I had no "fake" food, well...no. I had REAL coffee that Glenn makes which might as well be called Ferrell Ambrosia and it was just calling for "a little something" a snackeral if you will. One tiny cinnamon pop tart. (note to self, need to make something "real" to have with coffee. Any suggestions? and I don't mean granola and grapefruit, although those have their place, I'm just not a morning person and I prefer something tiny and baked goodish with the coffee, I'm thinking maybe rugelach?)

Yes, I do note here that the word "real" is going to get "real" old. I shall have to come up with an answer for that problem, real soon. Meanwhile, after sleeping some more (anemia, being in the way of women, my chiari 1 malformation? medications?) I awoke and dear Glenn microwaved me two ears of corn. Real as it gets. Satisfying goodness. Sorry the picture is sub par, the corn wasn't.


The rest of the day, I've stayed the course and I've not craved much by way of fake (a little chocolate craving perhaps.) I'll have to figure out where I "stand" on chocolate. It is certainly real, and I'm not going to rule it out by any stretch, but I don't want to be scarfing down chocolate bars every time I'm hungry. I need things that are easy but not that easy, not to mention needing healthful food. I think I want to keep my chocolate primarily to baked things, ice cream or chocolate milk, not candy. Keep posted and keep praying that I can make progress on this journey, which to many of you might seem not at all difficult, but which to me is an adventure.

Day One, Sort of...

(I actually started this blog Aug.15th.09 but wanted the first day to appear for a bit so I had to fiddle with the dates)

Something is sort of working its way round in my thinking. Some way in which, while I may or may not lose any weight, I will be eating foods that fuel my body and hopefully tax them minimally. I suppose you might think (if you ever seen me in person) it goes without saying that I am not a fan of dieting. But even were I a slender person, I would not be a fan. I believe that trying to embrace something that is artificial to oneself and one's environment tends not to result in long term success. I also have had my own best experiences with moderate weight loss, kept off for years at a time, by exercise and eating more real food. I am not an overeater, I am a bad selector with a finely honed taste for things that have a huge amount of fat and calories in even small portions (read truffles and salt and vinegar chips)

Yup, I said eat more real food. (Real food which we shall work on defining as this blog goes along, and hopefully in dialogue with others of you finding your eating "home"place) What I am thinking of as REAL food is aided by Michael Pollan's suggestion that we should buy things our grandmothers would recognise. (ok, since I am a grandmother and I recognize pop rocks and pez, this term might need broad application depending on your age, how about your great great granny?)



My thought about real food is that it doesn't have to be fancy, or expensive, it doesn't have to be labor intensive, though it will take more time than scarfing potato chips or chocolate. I rarely eat what is called fast food unless you count the these.

I'm thinking along these lines, feedback please. Let's refine this together and please, some of you, who might benefit from a food tune up, please come along with me, I'd love company.


I'm thinking...
1. This is not a place for diet talk, self loathing, whinging or wining. The spirit I want to have here is that of "whoa girlie's and dudes, what amazing and yet simple food has sprung from the earth for us to enjoy and give thanks to God for."

2. This is not about calories/fat, though if you share a recipe that you love that has ways you have reduced the calories/fat naturally (ie not artificial sweetener) say that you cut the butter in half and it was plenty rich, then by all means do share.

3. For me, my healthiest weight and health and mindset has come from just eating real food, getting some exercises and following the principle, eat when you are hungry, eat consciously, mindfully, worshipfully if need be, and stop when you are full.(Full being "Not Hungry") It is always good to remind ourselves" hey, I'm comfortable now. I may just pop this second ear of corn in the fridge for a snack later." And yes, hay is for horses, it's their real food.

4. I struggle with snacking, with wanting to have something to sit down with the hubby with while watching a tv program. Even when I read a book I like a cuppa coffee or something treat like.(read "I can eat an entire Lindt chocolate bar in a chapter") I don't eat mass quantities(ok an entire Lindt bar is colorically speaking mass quantities but seriously, it's not that big), being practiced at always putting my food in bowls so I don't lose track of what I am eating, but any excess unburned unheathful food does add up for me, especially when my health troubles have rendered me bedridden at times.I am noting if you live like a snail you'll have to eat like one too. In response to this, I want to come up with ways to be satisfied with yummy AND good for you or at least home made or at least deliberately eaten, snacking, all three being the trifecta.

As a result, rather than try and just be more "moderate" for now with food that I know are hard to be moderate at, in the spirit of trying to eat REAL food for REAL hunger (which I have plenty of but won't be satisfied with junk) I want to try and just not buy the chips (fill in the blank with your own indulngence issues) right now, hence the "Cold Turkey" part of the title. I want to somewhat force myself to say "Boy I am starving, what can I eat to end the hunger that is good for my body?" I want to have planned ahead for said things. I intend to give myself liberty at how much I desire of healthful things knowing I won't tend to overindulge as long as I'm not feeling like I'm "dieting" or "restricted" Being restricted is a good thing, but some of us do better with looking at the cup as half full rather than half empty.

So...I intend to encourage comments and posting back, share your ideas and issues, please pass along any real food or whole food type sites you like. Disclaimer at the get go: If I put up a link for a food blog that happens to have a great recipe for something, please do not assume that I have actually seen anything on said site other than the recipe, I am not about to actually read and critique every food blog I snatch good eats from. If the author of said blog turns out to be a witch or serving life in prison, I'm not going to notice unless it's in the blog title. It's all blogs "offered to idols" to me. (1. Corinthians 8:1-13)

I intend to make lots of real food, sharing recipes and pictures as I go. I intend to cook more. (This can be a challenge with my health issues so I may have to go really simple or things you can eat again for days once made, like soup) I want to be real with you, about my real struggles, to find real food consistently.

A word about organic etc.
It is my personal belief that we are not helping ourselves or the world or animal husbandry by overuse of chemicals, anti-biotics or hormones. I don't believe you have to be a "lefty" to care about what you put into your body. What I do at this point..

1. Try to by local and in season.
2 Try to make more from scratch.
3. Read labels. The things I do work scrupulously to avoid are partially hydrogenated oils. I also try to compare ingredient lists on products and see which one's are the most recognizable vs chemical or complex.
4. I try to avoid excesses of chlorine and bleaching in flour, sugar, coffee filters and so on.
5. I will try to post a list here soon that highlights if you are going to spring for the extra cost of organic things, which is the biggest health bang for your buck.
6. My big thing this year has been to try and eat meats that are hormone and antibiotic free, this is getting easier and easier. I'd like my milk to be so too and am thinking about moving that way in butter. (Costco has organic butter now)

I still do plan to have sweets, (they don't tempt me to overdue the way salty things do) but I'm going to try and make it a priority that if they are here, they have been home-made and in small quantities. (ie my new blondie recipe is only for a 9x9 pan which is good, we don't need 9x13 of them) I will still keep some ice cream in the fridge for times when Glenn and I purposely sit down together to enjoy it as a treat. But I want to try and find more treats that aren't food either, like walks, or singing together, or dancing in the living room.

Ok, I don't plan to be this long on future days. Lest you think, Susan, isn't all this just a bit personal or self focused? A resounding yes, yes it is. I'm thinking of this as a diary with a little more pressure to keep it up. Hey, if you are a fellow saint, aren't you supposed to care about my health? (-: And maybe someone else who struggles with needing to eat more of what God put here for us to enjoy liberally vs what Lay's or Walkers made for us to enjoy moderately, might be encouraged.

Today's eatins...
Coffee 1/2 cup delicious home roasted Jamaican Blue and Colombian blend
Hormone and Antib-free beef patty on bun (I've not crossed over to whole wheat yet which might be an improvement but I thought, who knows what "whole wheat" means in a grocery store. I have had those Sara Lee one's that are like half and half white/wheat, and they were kinda nice, but I've not checked to see if they are any better for building health)
12 Almonds (on my way home from grocery store, needed to not be starving when I got home)
Cheddar cheese slice on burger.
Woke up hungry in middle of night, fixed to pieces of bread (Great Harvest) with real butter and on one of them I got the crazy idea to drizzle a little maple syrup. It wasn't much taste wise but it was good.
1 1.5 inch by 1.5 inch Blondie, home-made with walnuts
I'm not posting everything I eat, just what is an improved change for me. If you see nothing posted at all for eating, be afraid for me, it might mean I'm living on chips.

May you have a wonderful Lord's day filled with mindful eating and gladness!